A demon good time

I met an amazing woman this weekend. A woman that I would have to say is THE definition of a spitfire if ever there was one. Ok, well, I didn't exactly meet her. I won her diary in an ebay auction, but after reading it all night Friday until my eyes burned and then finishing it the next day I feel as though I know her. Her name is Ruth Lydia Martha Bender, later Kurka.

The diary starts May 12, 1931. She recieved it as a gift from her boyfriend at the time (Chick O'Conner). She was 16 yrs old at the time. She used it thru the rest of 1931 and into 1932. What's even more interesting is that in later years (1987-1993) she would make occassional notes in a much more narrative form. It reads as though she had every intention that one day someone would read about her life. And what a life it was.

She "gets tight" fairly frequently (which I believe is getting drunk). Loves to dance and apparently gets a lot of "cuts" when she goes. This love continues into her later years.

On the very first page she writes:

"After I was married a while Frank broke the lock to my diary which wasn't very nice"

In the back of the diary (and then later on notecards) she logs all of the gifts that she got at that time, primarily from her graduation. She also notes all of her dates...257 of them from 1930-1932 noting that there were several others before she married Frank.

I wish I could share this whole diary with you, but I'm afraid you'll have to settle for just a couple of excerpts.

"I met Frank J. Kurka at a party I went to with Chick as my date on Nov. 19, 1931. The party was on the Mermac River in a club-house....I called it a tacky party in the diary....Frank wrote my telephone number with my lipstick. When Chick and I arrived he said he just finished saying "the first girl that comes in the door" he was going to kiss, and so he did. Gave me a big kiss on the lips. He called about a week later, and that started our dating. We ran away to Waterloo, Ill one evening and got married April 8, 1935. We told people, our families, it was Nov. 3, 1934, but that was false."

After initial meeting Frank, she dated both Chick and Frank for quite a while (both knew about the other). Every once in a while she would have a date with some other boy, but her attention was focused primarily on both Chick and Frank. She clearly struggled with the decision between the more stable and mature Chick and the "bad boy" Frank.

In 1932 both boys asked her to marry them within literally days of one another. On April 28th Chick asked, and on May 1st Frank asked. She had actually said yes to Chick, but notes in 1987 that there was no ring. She declined Frank's proposal. She never mentions who she resolved the outstanding proposal with Chick.

In 1987 she noted:

"I loved them both very much. How can you love two boys, 23 yrs. old, at one time....Even to this day I love them both deeply."

Here's one of my favorite entries also from 1987:

"There was a convention at Belmont Plaza, NY. Frank and I had a room there for convention. There was a supper club at the hotel and some famous guy was on stage making a comeback and while on Frank was speaking out saying he was awful, they called it heckling. He didn't mean to be loud. So later out in the lobby, unbeknownst to me there was a fracus between some prominent men who was backing the star, among them Vanderbilt. The next morning Frank's picture was on the front page of the Daily Mirror and told the story. I do believe the incident helpful to cause him to lose his job."

Frank died Oct 7, 1982. It was clearly a difficult time for her, she became very ill for a year. Eventually she regained her health, adjusted to her new "widowhood". She became active with a 50+ women's organization, traveled and enjoyed life.

I wish I knew more about her. I also wish I hadn't read the diary so fast!! But what I do know is that she certainly seems to me to have been an amazing woman who truly enjoyed life.